"I'm gett'in noth'in for Christmas"

Well hopefully not! But really, that's what I deserve. My birthday was right after Thanksgiving and my hubby went ABOVE and BEYOND, and took our bank account to "INFINITY AND BEYOND". I was so speechless and still am. I usually have the ability to veto most of what I think he is thinking of buying for me (cause it's usually too much). This time was quite different. Yes, it is exactly what I wanted but I still have a hard time accepting all of it. Oh well! Like I said, "I'm gett'in noth'in for Christmas"! Maybe Brandon too.:( No, not really. I have to come up with something. The question is always, but WHAT? Especially after being spoiled so bad! Any ideas? Slippers made out of toilet paper? Earmuffs made out of laundry lint? Uh, I know! Earplugs made out of mini-marshmallows, for when the kids get too rowdy! Yea, except what about when they start to warm up from being in the ear too long? That might get a little messy I'm afraid. Oh well! Guess it doesn't matter cause, "I'm gett'in noth'in for Christmas".

P.S. This photo was taken with a brand new Android smart phone that was part of my present. In this box which was given a couple days after the phone, was a super nice Canon SLR with tripod, case, SD cards, battery packs, and lenses! Yes, I did say lenses! AAAAhhhhh! Still in shock! Thank you. I feel better.

I love to be a Mother

These are my favorite faces!

I get to see them everyday!

I am a very lucky mom.
My heart is always full.

It's a special priveledge to be a mother.

No one can take my place.

I've been crowned with one of the highest responsibilities.

A mother's love is more powerful than all others.

A mother is a child's primary teacher and nurturer.

Motherhood is such a precious gift!

Our calling is great!

But our reward is even greater.

Motherhood is divine and sacred.

Motherhood is a work from God.

I would never choose anything other.

My children will learn from ME their most important teacher.

That is what God intended.

That's why he sent them to ME.

I will hold this calling high,

Above all others.

This is MY work!

Because I am a Mother.

Creepy cats, Best friends, The Halloween season, and Homemade salsa!!

Me and #5 being "CREEPY CATS"!



My best friend from Canada came to see me last week. We had a great time! We met in Park City for a day and enjoyed some great shopping and girl time! I also had the BEST fish and chips of my entire life!! I know you think big deal, right? Well just let me remind you I am from the Great Northwest you know. We kind of like to brag about our fish. And as my father says, "If you can't see the water.... don't eat the fish!" But I must say, even though I can't see any water in Park City, any REAL water, that is, I ate the fish and it was GOOOOD!! It was dang good. Amazing I tell you! Red Rock Brewing Co. in Park City. You must go and try their beer battered Halibut fish and chips. Leave the chips even, just eat the fish! So white, so flaky, so thick! It melts in your mouth. You won't even believe you are eating fish. I can't wait to go again. I told the hubby all about it. Next time we are anywhere near Park City, we are there!




Halloween is fast approaching and we are excited! We couldn't help stocking up on pumpkins for carving and for roasting pumpking seeds. We love 'em! And of course more baked goods, Halloween cupcakes!!



And last but not least, canning homemade salsa! Dun dun dun... total flop. First time canning, and first time at real homemade salsa. Not only did one of the jars burst during the steaming process, but it ended up being way too salty. Oh well, maybe next time. I guess I don't handle defeat too well when it comes to working in the kitchen. My fridge is already stocked full of salsa ingredients again. Wish me luck!!

Why do I even make THESE?

I have NO control when it comes to these! I start out thinking I won't eat any. I'll let Brandon and the kids eat them.
Then it's, well,... maybe I'll have just ONE. I did go to all the trouble making them in the first place. I should at least eat ONE. I should let myself enjoy it just a little bit. Well, that's when it happens. I've had my first few bites and it's heaven. It's a rush of yumminess that I can't live without. It reminds me of the sinfully delicious Cinnabon's that my Mom and I could NEVER resist while cruising the mall.

Before I know it....., it's gone! And I'm scraping my plate for every last bit of gooey cinnamon swirled dough topped with the perfectly balanced butter and cream cheese frosting. I clean my fork and immediately am thinking I wish I had just ONE more bite.

You know what's coming next right? My mind is reeling. "Don't even think about having another." "Oh, but I could just tear off one more little piece." I wrestle with myself. And, I win. The bad side wins. Not the sensible one that has limits. The other side. The one that tells me, while I contemplate the whole thing in the beginning, "You are so domestic. You're kids and husband will love you forever if you make these." "Good moms make yummy, delicious, homemade goodies for their family." "It's the nice thing to do."

BACK...BACK!! You evil, belly bulging, brain triggering opioid.

You see, the truth is, that I have made THREE batches of these in the last THREE days. Now do you see where my delirium comes from?!

Aaahhh.... there. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.

Oh, and yes I had more than two....a few times.

Darn Burros!

Does anyone have a steel gate I can borrow? No, I'm not getting into the cattle business just yet. But I do have a few kids I need to herd from time to time.

My measly wooden gate doesn't seem to be doing the trick anymore. I have a little burro that won't stop breaking through the gate. It's not like he's looking for food on the other side. I guess he just thinks it's the next best thing to climbing a mountain.

O.k., there's really no burro. It's just our determined little Carsen following the rest of the herd. (That would be the other four little burros.) Go Carsen! He can finally climb the stairs.


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Where's Cierra ?????

Have you ever been so busy one of your children gets lost in the mix? But you always find them asleep in big brothers room, or looking at a book in the closet. Well Braden, Carsen and Kyan are all sick. I (Big B) am trying to take care of them and clean the kitchen at the same time. Heidi and Grace had escaped to go shopping. I suddenly realized Cierra was missing. I called out her name but she didn't answer, she never does for me. Then I looked in all the rooms, and all the closets, NOTHING. I started to freak out knowing she was probably outside looking for Brianna and Kellie (the neighbor girls whom babysit Cierra) and hoping she was not hurt. Luckily Brianna and Kellie were right outside painting the fence and Cierra was with them. They told me she came over and said "me help". It was so cute I couldn't be mad, so I got her a paint brush from our garage. She was so happy to be painting and acting like a big girl. I took pictures.

Kindergarten Eve

Tomorrow's the big day! I can't wait! He can't wait! We all can't wait! But yet, I'm also sad, and nervous, and anxious and well,...you get the point.

I'm a mom, what can I say. It's my first time sending a child off to school and I'm just mixed with emotions. He's my oldest! He's my firtborn! He's my boy! I'm torn.

I'm going to really miss him. It's been me and him, not just him, but me and him for five whole years. And now it's going to change. That's a big change for me.

We often have the same basic, but nonstop, million things to do in a day routine. And the biggest change is him not being here.

I'm thrilled for him. I can't wait to see the changes.
It's feels like the next phase of life for him which will bring great change and growth. The time where he grows to become ever more like the amazing child I dream for him to become. Another opportunity to look upon my child with great admiration and pride which I already feel so much for him.

Son, you make us so proud. You are one of my greatest and sweetest treasures. I love your strength. I love your tenderness. I love your smile and your laugh. I love the way you tease. I love the way you are determined and driven. I love your hugs. I love it when you lead.

Learn well Braden. Be teachable. Be an example. Be determined and BE Braden.

I love you!
Mommy

Grasshoppers! "Shaken not stirred"

The end of summer is near. School has started for most, and the sounds of children laughing and screaming outside are beginning to fade. The desire to ride bikes, hit golf balls off the front lawn, and play with the bubble machine is no longer very strong.

So what does one do to cure this end of summer let down?

How about pull out the water machine guns one more time and have a 3 hour battle?

Or, how about we build another water erupting volcano in the sandbox that floods everything?

No? Maybe pile every kid in the neighborhood into the Hummer one more time and see if it breaks....again?

O.k. fine,.....how about GRASSHOPPER HUNTING?

Did someone say Grasshopper hunting??!!

Yeah, you know we could catch them very carefully with a pair of pliers so we don't have to touch them. Then we can ask people if they want to buy them! That's a GREAT idea!! Everyone is looking to buy a few grasshoppers at the end of summer for absolutely no reason at all. Which they would have absolutely no use for at all. YAY!!!!! Let's do it!

Oh, and after we have caught them and seal them TIGHTLY in a ziploc bag, and get annoyed with them when they crawl up the edge of the bag or when they crawl on top of each other, let's be sure and shake them as vigorously as possible, OVER and OVER until they want to puke.

My how sad it will be when summer has finally faded and gone. What will we think of then?

Aren't Sundays supposed to be peaceful and relaxing?

August 8th began like any other previous Sunday morning. We woke up to the ever familiar beeping sound of Carsen's feeding pump alarming us that the bag filled with Pediasure was empty. Brandon takes his turn as he does every weekend morning to turn it off. As always Carsen greets his Daddy with a big toothy grin and a smile reaching ear to ear. As Brandon begins looking for the connector piece that connects the pump to Carsens button in his belly, Brandon discovers that Carsen has completely pulled out his feeding tube. If you can imagine a literal hole on the surface of his belly leading right into his stomach....completely exposed!

About a year and a half ago when Carsen had his feeding tube placed Brandon and I were given necessary and detailed training on how to care for his G-tube. During that class we learned about the urgency of a situation such as this. They taught us that the stomach begins to heal over within twenty minutes of the tube being pulled out. I'm sorry, did you hear that? TWENTY m i n u t e s!

So, here we are Sunday morning, Carsen's G-tube is sitting on his mattress; hole in his belly; Pediasure EVERYWHERE in his bed; Carsen grinning ear to ear; Mom and Dad having a major freak out. We have no idea how long this tube has been pulled out of his belly sitting on his mattress.

Immediately Brandon pulls him out of bed, lays him out flat and attempts to put the button back in. No good. No go.

An hour later with Grandparents at the house watching the other four we are headed to the ER in Vernal. We got in fairly quickly. Carsen is given a sedative to keep him calm and to help prevent him fighting us. Dr. B who also assisted us the last time we were in the ER for Kyan's dehydration was there to help us again. By the way, I start getting uneasy when we start getting a little too familiar with the ER doctors. At least it wasn't the same doctor who had to Life flight Carsen out when he stopped breathing on me. I'm afraid that might trigger too many memories.

Anyway, so the story continues. Dr. B gets some supplies ready and begins. I'm laying on the hospital bed with Carsen laying on top of me, face up, holding him down. The goal is to insert a Foley catheter {long stretchy bendable tube} into his belly hole. Once the Foley catheter tube is in we can somewhat relax knowing the hole won't grow back any more than it already has.

Success! After a hand full of tries he got it in! O.k, so next question is, can we work our way up to the Miki button? Let's try! With another dose of Versed, Dr. B goes in for it. First few attempts..... no go. Next few attempts..... no go. Last few attempts, Carsen is getting really mad, no go.

Dr. B decides we should come back tomorrow and give another Dr. at the hospital a try.

O.k.

It's Monday morning. Grandma and Grandpa come to sit with the other four kids. We are off to the hospital. We meet Dr. V. He's a surgeon. Dr. V looks at Carsen, checks out the Foley catheter sticking out of his belly and asks a few questions.

"How about we get you in sometime at the end of the week?"

Uhh, what? Brandon and I look at each other. "I'm sorry that's not gonna work" we say. Dr. V says, "o.k, I'll try and get him in tomorrow".

But wait why not today? Why not right now??

For whatever reason, he wanted us to come back tomorrow. Tomorrow being day THREE without his feeding tube. That's starting to push it in my book. In reality, the boy can eat by mouth! Awesome. But, he doesn't hardly TOUCH the liquids. Every few weeks if we're lucky. The last thing we wanted was to do the NG tube again. (Feeding tube through the nose, down the back of the throat, into the stomach.)

We get home and I decide to call Primary Children's again, for the fourth or fifth time since Sunday morning. I talk to a nurse who gives us what she calls a "trick" to putting in a G-tube. AH HA! I feel like this is it. This is what's missing! By, the way, this "trick" rings no bell whatsoever from our training on the G-tube.

I call Brandon at work and tell him the news. He feels it too! This is it.

Grandma and Grandpa once again make their way over. This time, Grandma stays downstairs with the kids while Grandpa, Brandon, and I take Carsen upstairs. We take him into his room and shut the door. Brandon has everything cut, measured, opened, layed out and ready. Grandpa has his legs and I have his arms. We say a prayer. About a minute later it's in. It's a go!

Carsen fought and screamed, but thankfully it didn't take long.

That was a lot to bear for his Dad. Brandon was quite shaken up, but soothed by the relief of it being over.

Thanks Daddy! You are our hero.... once again.

Blood suckers!

Yesterday Gracie comes in the house and says to me "Hey mom when I do this it hurts my arm". I see her hold her arm up in the air like she is trying to flex her bicep. In a Gracie sort of way that is. As I kneel down to take a closer look I realize that the top of her forearm from the elbow down is swollen, red, and tight almost like a Popeye shaped arm. "Ooh Gracie what happened?" I said. "I don't know." "Well, what do you mean, did something bite you or sting you?" "No." "Well, when did it happen?" "I don't know." O.k.....so obviously this isn't going so well. My investigative skills with my kids lately have been pretty unrevealing.....especially when it comes to when and how they are getting hurt. So, after no success with my questioning I call our favorite Pediatrician's office for the umpteenth time this week asking to get us in asap. No problem!

Come to find out it was most likely a couple of mosquito bites that had started to infect the soft tissue in her arm. O.k. so can I just say here that we are so tired of the mosquito bites so far this season. They have been vicious. I say vicious because it's one thing when it's just you you have to worry about. But when you have five little squishy and soft, warm bodied little babies/toddlers to defend that keep getting bit before you get the spray out, its seems a little vicious!

So we left the Doctors with a dose of Benadryl and a prescription for an antibiotic. Phew! Not too bad. Especially when I think back to the early days with the twins.....not bad at all!

Swings, Trampolines, Skateboards, just a few of the many dangerous inventions for fun...or pain!

You would think that I would take advantage of the fact that I could get to bed a little early tonight but....no. I can't help but stay up until Brandon gets home. He's on call all week and this is just the beginning.

I always hate it when he has to go. Even though I do have a little bit of quiet time after I've put the kids to bed.... I still wish he was here. I just can't settle down for bed until he is home again.

So...here I am. Hoping to make it quick so I can get upstairs and pick up where I left off....... I started reading 'The Lovely Bones' about a week ago. So far this summer my evenings have been consumed with some pick off the New York Times best sellers list. I'm quite enjoying myself. I picked my book up today and felt guilty for reading during my "mothering hours". Yes the three youngest were napping but still..... I guess I felt I should have been cleaning or baking something with my almost rotten bananas. I guess there's always tomorrow!

Yesterday Braden had a special visit with one of our wonderful and very familiar Pediatricians, Dr. Pollary. After a fall from a swing onto a stone slab my sweet boy was helped up and assisted over to the owners mom after stumbling to the ground at least three different times. Can you say c o n c u s s i o n! No thank you!

After he came to the house and found me I asked him what happened and he kept answering, "I don't know", "I don't know". That's when the panic set in. I called the Doctor's office, explained what happened, and pleaded to get Braden in.

So, of course, as all Mom's know....by the time you get to the Doctor the child no longer has a fever, or is no longer showing signs of serious pain, or well.....in my case....memory loss.

After a gentle and thorough assesment Braden seemed to feel much better and no longer showed any sign of injury. The prescription was to watch for any signs of vomiting, drowsiness, or unequal pupil dilation. And, no potentially dangerous activities, which could cause more bruising to the brain for the next two weeks. O.k., sure, no problem Doc! We will make sure of it!

Well.....so far so good, except of course for the little fall backwards on the grass after we got home while running away from Daddy. Oh, and the crazy jumping up and down for no reason that made him stop abruptly and inform us how painful it was in his head.

Yeah, but other than that this should be a breeze. Besides, that was just day one!

Joking aside, even though it helps keep me sane, I am so grateful he will be just fine!

Once again....it's been awhile. I will try to keep it sweet and simple. It's been four months since my last post. Let's see how much I can cram into this "simple" update. Besides it's the pictures that say it best! But before we get to that, here are some of the highlights of the last four months in the Eskelson household.....


*Braden turned 5

*Braden gets registered for Kindergarten.

*Braden breaks our flatscreen T.V. throwing the WII remote at it. (P.S. Not a highlight! )

*Grace turned 4

*Carsen and Cierra turned 2

*Brandon lost over 30lbs.

*I lost 17lbs.

*Kyan lost a few lbs. and spent some time in the hospital. (Not a highlight)

*Carsen discovers his love for elephants.

*Braden joins a T-ball team.

*Brandon becomes a T-ball coach.

*Cierra moves out of a crib and into a toddler bed.

*I FINALLY finish reading Breaking Dawn.

*Grace moves out of nursery and into primary.

*Cierra discovers nursery equals snack time!

*Carsen gives nursery a try. Kind of likes it.

*Brandon and I celebrate our 7th anniversary.

And once again..... I reflect on my life with a fulness of heart. I feel so lucky to have this family.

Do I really have time to do this?

The pleasant sound of Kyan's sleep inducing humidifier whoooing in the background makes my heart smile. He has not been able to keep much of a sleeping pattern until about a couple of weeks ago. (NOT SO FUN!) But finally we have him into a good sleeping pattern taking a couple naps during the day and waking only a couple times during the night. I must say, sleep is....goooood! The poor kid went from sleeping only in a swing in our room, to sleeping in a swing in his room, to sleeping in a bassinet in his room to a bassinet in our room, and now in our closet. Not because we are mean or cruel, he just seems to sleep really good in there. It's dark, quiet, and smells like mommy! What could be better? So, besides the fact that I get to sleep more and I love that, Kyan is literally starting to grow again with the amount of sleep he's getting. His Pediatrician revealed to us that he had not grown in length from November to January partly because of lack of sleep but also because of lack of calories. Kyan did not like anything but nursing and apparently that was no longer enough. But as of a couple of weeks ago he has finally started drinking plain formula. He's taking his time on liking anything else. As long as he's getting enough calories and getting enough sleep, I'm happy. Well, I guess that's all that makes me happy too. Calories and sleep! We're both pretty simple I guess.

Carsen and Cierra are two months shy of their second birthday. Crazy! Time has flown and crept by. In the beginning each day was such a struggle for them and me but I'd say since their first birthday things have been somewhat easier(minus the six months of fussy/sleepy baby and mommy), and their progress so much more visible.

We took the twins to a speech pathologist this week who gave us some feedback on how they are doing. Not really to our surprise Carsen displayed a higher level than Cierra with their communication skills. Of course we are aware of this because we see it ourselves, but it's different seeing Carsen progressing quicker than Cierra. They tested equal in receptive communication but Carsen was ahead in his expressive communication. Yeah Carsen! We've got our work cut out for us though. Lots, and lots, and lots of talking and naming things to Cierra. For some reason that's exhausting for me. (And for Brandon's ears.)

Carsen is still crawling his own way. As, uncle Rod put it...."like we did it in 'Nam". We have to practice lots of supported standing with Carsen to help his legs learn how to bare weight. He doesn't enjoy that process for very long. His legs still seem pretty weak and tight....if that makes any sense. His muscles are weak but his hips are tight and that equals difficulty in standing and alternating leg movements. So we're working on that as well. I swear Brandon and I should be considered certified in something after all of this knowledge and experience we've gained. Really! It's truly higher education paid for by the state and our insurance company. Too bad we don't get the paper on the wall to back it up. I feel tempted sometimes to pursue that line of work in the (distant) future. Who knows. I'll probably be too old and senile by then.

Oh yeah, and there's two more to talk about.(Braden and Gracie). The T.V. and the WII works so they seem just fine. Oh I shouldn't have said that out loud. I mean they are practicing their letters and numbers everday and learning how to read, write, cook and clean. O.k. no, not that either. The truth is that they get mommy as much as possible.(Not very possible really.) We get by each day often times with minimal yelling, timeouts, and meltdowns. I think everyone has had to learn how to take each day as it comes and try to take turns with getting enough attention, and time with mom and dad. And that is also a work in progress. I hope at least they are getting a little bit of Mommy 101 out of it all.