Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Kindergarten Eve

Tomorrow's the big day! I can't wait! He can't wait! We all can't wait! But yet, I'm also sad, and nervous, and anxious and well,...you get the point.

I'm a mom, what can I say. It's my first time sending a child off to school and I'm just mixed with emotions. He's my oldest! He's my firtborn! He's my boy! I'm torn.

I'm going to really miss him. It's been me and him, not just him, but me and him for five whole years. And now it's going to change. That's a big change for me.

We often have the same basic, but nonstop, million things to do in a day routine. And the biggest change is him not being here.

I'm thrilled for him. I can't wait to see the changes.
It's feels like the next phase of life for him which will bring great change and growth. The time where he grows to become ever more like the amazing child I dream for him to become. Another opportunity to look upon my child with great admiration and pride which I already feel so much for him.

Son, you make us so proud. You are one of my greatest and sweetest treasures. I love your strength. I love your tenderness. I love your smile and your laugh. I love the way you tease. I love the way you are determined and driven. I love your hugs. I love it when you lead.

Learn well Braden. Be teachable. Be an example. Be determined and BE Braden.

I love you!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Grasshoppers! "Shaken not stirred"

The end of summer is near. School has started for most, and the sounds of children laughing and screaming outside are beginning to fade. The desire to ride bikes, hit golf balls off the front lawn, and play with the bubble machine is no longer very strong.

So what does one do to cure this end of summer let down?

How about pull out the water machine guns one more time and have a 3 hour battle?

Or, how about we build another water erupting volcano in the sandbox that floods everything?

No? Maybe pile every kid in the neighborhood into the Hummer one more time and see if it breaks....again?

O.k. fine,.....how about GRASSHOPPER HUNTING?

Did someone say Grasshopper hunting??!!

Yeah, you know we could catch them very carefully with a pair of pliers so we don't have to touch them. Then we can ask people if they want to buy them! That's a GREAT idea!! Everyone is looking to buy a few grasshoppers at the end of summer for absolutely no reason at all. Which they would have absolutely no use for at all. YAY!!!!! Let's do it!

Oh, and after we have caught them and seal them TIGHTLY in a ziploc bag, and get annoyed with them when they crawl up the edge of the bag or when they crawl on top of each other, let's be sure and shake them as vigorously as possible, OVER and OVER until they want to puke.

My how sad it will be when summer has finally faded and gone. What will we think of then?

Monday, August 16, 2010

Aren't Sundays supposed to be peaceful and relaxing?

August 8th began like any other previous Sunday morning. We woke up to the ever familiar beeping sound of Carsen's feeding pump alarming us that the bag filled with Pediasure was empty. Brandon takes his turn as he does every weekend morning to turn it off. As always Carsen greets his Daddy with a big toothy grin and a smile reaching ear to ear. As Brandon begins looking for the connector piece that connects the pump to Carsens button in his belly, Brandon discovers that Carsen has completely pulled out his feeding tube. If you can imagine a literal hole on the surface of his belly leading right into his stomach....completely exposed!

About a year and a half ago when Carsen had his feeding tube placed Brandon and I were given necessary and detailed training on how to care for his G-tube. During that class we learned about the urgency of a situation such as this. They taught us that the stomach begins to heal over within twenty minutes of the tube being pulled out. I'm sorry, did you hear that? TWENTY m i n u t e s!

So, here we are Sunday morning, Carsen's G-tube is sitting on his mattress; hole in his belly; Pediasure EVERYWHERE in his bed; Carsen grinning ear to ear; Mom and Dad having a major freak out. We have no idea how long this tube has been pulled out of his belly sitting on his mattress.

Immediately Brandon pulls him out of bed, lays him out flat and attempts to put the button back in. No good. No go.

An hour later with Grandparents at the house watching the other four we are headed to the ER in Vernal. We got in fairly quickly. Carsen is given a sedative to keep him calm and to help prevent him fighting us. Dr. B who also assisted us the last time we were in the ER for Kyan's dehydration was there to help us again. By the way, I start getting uneasy when we start getting a little too familiar with the ER doctors. At least it wasn't the same doctor who had to Life flight Carsen out when he stopped breathing on me. I'm afraid that might trigger too many memories.

Anyway, so the story continues. Dr. B gets some supplies ready and begins. I'm laying on the hospital bed with Carsen laying on top of me, face up, holding him down. The goal is to insert a Foley catheter {long stretchy bendable tube} into his belly hole. Once the Foley catheter tube is in we can somewhat relax knowing the hole won't grow back any more than it already has.

Success! After a hand full of tries he got it in! O.k, so next question is, can we work our way up to the Miki button? Let's try! With another dose of Versed, Dr. B goes in for it. First few attempts..... no go. Next few attempts..... no go. Last few attempts, Carsen is getting really mad, no go.

Dr. B decides we should come back tomorrow and give another Dr. at the hospital a try.


It's Monday morning. Grandma and Grandpa come to sit with the other four kids. We are off to the hospital. We meet Dr. V. He's a surgeon. Dr. V looks at Carsen, checks out the Foley catheter sticking out of his belly and asks a few questions.

"How about we get you in sometime at the end of the week?"

Uhh, what? Brandon and I look at each other. "I'm sorry that's not gonna work" we say. Dr. V says, "o.k, I'll try and get him in tomorrow".

But wait why not today? Why not right now??

For whatever reason, he wanted us to come back tomorrow. Tomorrow being day THREE without his feeding tube. That's starting to push it in my book. In reality, the boy can eat by mouth! Awesome. But, he doesn't hardly TOUCH the liquids. Every few weeks if we're lucky. The last thing we wanted was to do the NG tube again. (Feeding tube through the nose, down the back of the throat, into the stomach.)

We get home and I decide to call Primary Children's again, for the fourth or fifth time since Sunday morning. I talk to a nurse who gives us what she calls a "trick" to putting in a G-tube. AH HA! I feel like this is it. This is what's missing! By, the way, this "trick" rings no bell whatsoever from our training on the G-tube.

I call Brandon at work and tell him the news. He feels it too! This is it.

Grandma and Grandpa once again make their way over. This time, Grandma stays downstairs with the kids while Grandpa, Brandon, and I take Carsen upstairs. We take him into his room and shut the door. Brandon has everything cut, measured, opened, layed out and ready. Grandpa has his legs and I have his arms. We say a prayer. About a minute later it's in. It's a go!

Carsen fought and screamed, but thankfully it didn't take long.

That was a lot to bear for his Dad. Brandon was quite shaken up, but soothed by the relief of it being over.

Thanks Daddy! You are our hero.... once again.