We're still alive!!

How will I ever get the time to add new posts? With the addition of our newest baby Kyan, I can't seem to squeeze any extra minutes out of my day. My hands are beyond full. They are definitely being stretched to their maximum! Although, I am able to get some relief when Brandon gets home from work every day. Some days he comes home and I am at the door purse in hand, hair pulled in a ponytail, brow furrowed tight, with a crazy look in my eye ready to run. Unfortunately, my escape is just another unnecessary trip to the grocery store. My choices for escaping here are pretty limited and I really can't leave Brandon home alone with the madness either.

O.k. so now that I got that off my chest. I can move on.

Our little Kyan is about 6 weeks old already! He is still on the small side somewhere between 7 and 8 pounds. But his feet are still huge! Now this guy is a little bit of a high maintenance baby but...... because I know that he is the last he can get away with anything. Even when I have to go pick him up for the third or fourth time in a row after laying him down dead asleep. It makes moving on to the next task, or baby, or toddler almost impossible. And that is partly why our house is so chaotic. Someone else is waiting on me for something that they want and they want it NOW. But when it comes to little Kyan, he gets what he wants every time. I just can't deny him. Even when he insists on sleeping right next to me all night and wakes if I try to move him just a few inches away from me. He's kind of a stinker but once again, he's the last one and he gets what he wants.

So, because time is so precious here are some pictures to fill in the last couple of months.






This was poor Cierra after being left in her walker outside on the patio when the sprinklers turned on before I could get back. She was a good sport!

Carsen....just being cute!


Today was Carsen's first haircut! Looks a bit like Grandpa Towne if you ask me.
Sadly this is Braden and Gracie receiving instruction from their "other" mother....... the TV.

All in all everyone is surviving and doing well. We sure love and adore our newest edition and can't believe how big we've gotten in such a short amount of time. Five kids in four years. Not quite what we expected but so glad to have them all and wouldn't trade them for anything. Thank goodness they are all so little and won't know how looney and imperfect their parents are for quite some time...... As long as no one tells them anyway.

36 weeks and counting.......

Here I am going on my 37th week and everything seems to look good. The fact that I have made it this far is just a relief! No more worries of having a super early preemie. I keep telling my doctor I just want a big baby! No more one and a half pounders. I keep thinking at least seven pounds would be great. Although, after hearing about our home teachers' wife and her delivery last week I think maybe bigger isn't always best. She had a 10lb. 6oz.'er. NATURALLY!! Whoa, you go girl! (At home even, with a midwife.) Thankfully, all are doing well. So I think I'll stick to my seven pound range if I can. As far as the rest of the family goes I think the older kids are looking forward to meeting their little and LAST baby brother. They keep asking when baby "so and so" is going to come out. I say so and so just in case we change our minds on the name. You never know. Especially when it comes to me. I finally have everyone a little more settled in their rooms to make space in our room for baby. The twins of course share a room but have separate cribs. They are getting bigger and bigger and need more room to roll around in their sleep. Besides, Cierra still likes to crawl all over her brother like he's just some squishy pillow that makes sound when you sit on it. For that reason alone I think he thoroughly enjoys his own crib. All she can do is squawk at him through the wooden bars of her own crib from across the room. Just to update you on Carsen's feeding tube issue we are still on the schedule for the G-tube surgery this month. I would like to hope that something changes and we can cancel it but for now I'm not counting on it. Yesterday he had the NG tube placed in his nose. Brandon and I were both able to get trained on how to place it and use it. It's kind of a scary thing to be responsible for. The risk of placing it in the lungs is very real. The nurse who trained us said she had actually had a feeding tube placed in her lungs when she was in the hospital for some kind of surgery. She said it was pretty awful. Luckily they checked the placement before feeding her. Anyway, it is scary but at the same time I like the fact that you can remove it and it's gone. Not like the G-tube. They only remove the G-tube after 6 to 8 months of taking all foods and fluids by mouth. But the one good thing about all this is that Carsen is definitely going to get the amount of fluids that he needs. No more barely wet diapers, and no more worries of dehydration. They've also always said that development goes hand in hand with proper calorie intake. So, we hope to see progress there as well. As for Cierra's development she is still doing very well. She is climbing the stairs every chance she gets. She waves hi and goodbye, plays peek-a-boo, dances, pulls herself to standing, says N0 NO NO, and more. We couldn't be more pleased with all her progress. It's so fun to watch the older kids entertain the twins. They are always competing to see who can make Carsen laugh the hardest. He cracks up at them over the smallest thing. The whole family seems to stop what their doing and be drawn in to the room when Carsen starts his infectious laughing. It's great!

Mixed feelings

Well, I prefer to post about exciting and positive things that the babies do but this one may be a bit of the good and bad. Carsen had a visit at the Doctors today regarding his eating. Nothing new, I guess. But over the last month he has really dropped off on his fluid intake. When it comes to feedings he chooses to completely ignore the bottle and only take food from the spoon. Yeah for the solids but not so good for the fluids. I can't get him to drink from a cup yet so it's kind of scary. That being said, the overall consensus is that it's finally time for Carsen to get a feeding tube. I have been fighting this for almost a full year. Some say it was a good fight but it's hard to accept that cheerfully. I can't help but feeling like we are taking a big step back. It seems like we have made it so far yet now it feels like we were just wasting time by putting it off. But I do realize we weren't wasting time totally because Carsen has learned to eat solids and that's a big deal. But it now feels like all that fighting and stress and the emotional roller coaster ride was all for naught. I don't know. But here we are. It seems to be the best option for Carsen now. We hope so. In the mean time he will likely be using an NG tube (through the nose) to stay hydrated and take fluids. I'm really not excited about that because having to be responsible for placing the tube is very frightening to me. But I guess it's just part of the job requirement now. I still have to say how grateful we are for All of Carsen's progress. He has overcome so much and defied so many odds and he's only 13 months old. Even though we're disappointed we know Carsen is still going to do way more than we ever dreamed or imagined! He's a strong little guy and we hope this just makes him stronger.

Happy Birthday Babies!

On April 13th we celebrated the babies first birthday! It was a wonderful day with much to celebrate. They have been able to accomplish so much over the past year. We feel so blessed to have such special little babies who have fought so hard to be where they are.

Carsen is doing really well eating solids now. He still has some trouble taking the bottle as much as we'd like him to. But overall he seems to be getting enough to keep him satisfied. Sometimes that means he gains weight and sometimes it means he just stays the same. His eating and weight gain are still a concern with the Doctors but not enough to doing anything drastic.

Carsen has been able to roll over from his right side for some time now. Well, good news is that as of a couple of days ago he has learned to roll over from his left side! That may not sound big to some but for us and Carsen it's huge! His left side has been the side there has always been some concern about. Mainly the tightness in his left arm and hand. We have tried to give a lot of attention to this area. Often it feels like he has maxed out his level of progress in a certain area. Then finally, much to our surprise he shows us that he is not done by any means. It does take time (and patience on my part) but eventually he overcomes or hits that developmental milestone and reminds us that he's going to get it. No matter how long it takes. It's always a huge relief to me because after working on something for months and months you start to worry that it's not ever going to happen. That maybe this is as far as he can go. What a blissful moment it is every time when he shows us otherwise! Then we start the process all over again focusing on the next big milestone. Trying to remind ourselves that its going to once again take time and just remember that eventually he will get it. Just DON'T GIVE UP!

Cierra is still our miniature locomotive. She just goes and goes and lets nothing get in her way. She is fully crawling and trying to pull herself up to standing now. She has two bottom teeth and loves to mimic and babble with you all day long. She's amazing!

I have to mention that Carsen is doing great socially as well. He loves to babble and talk as much as you'll let him. He also has two bottom teeth that are pushing through.

Anyway, as you see I could go on. Sooooo... today I am 32weeks along now and getting closer and closer to having a third baby in the household. CRAZY!! I am getting more and more scared as the due date gets closer. I don't know who to pray for more these days.... the twins, me, or the new unsuspecting baby who has no idea what they are getting themself into. Probably all four just to be safe. Or maybe just Brandon the way he keeps making reference to the fact that he's so close to picking up "drinking". Ha Ha

Enough chocolate!!!

O.k., just because I am pregnant does not mean I should eat so much! I made the mistake of trying a homemade chocolate fudge sauce recipe and now I CAN'T STOP!!! I have had one of these banana split sundaes almost every other night if not every night this past week. This is especially bad that I do this when my doctor tells me to stop exercising for a week. Bad idea!! I just hope he lets me resume starting next week. Since, I brought that up I will just mention that I am being put on a progesterone shot once a week to keep me from having preterm labor again. The doctor discovered that I was already slightly dilated. So for precautionary measures this is the rout we are taking. No worries though. I'm more concerned about the excessive amounts of sundaes I am consuming. So let this be a warning to anyone. Don't make homemade chocolate fudge sauce. You won't be able to leave it alone!!

Watch out Grandpa Towne!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Braden turns four years old on March 1st. So today we had his birthday party at the local bowling alley. First we have to thank Grandma and Grandpa Towne for the Nintendo Wii for Christmas because now Braden thinks he is the worlds best bowler. Well, we all know that real bowling is not as easy as the Wii. But, after seeing Braden play the real thing maybe the Wii really has taught him something. Sooo..... move over Grandpa Towne you have some competition now!

Back to Basics

Well, Carsen has decided to show me who's boss once again. I try so hard to show him it's me but he just won't budge. (Sounds a bit like myself, hmmm.) When it comes to eating Carsen wants to be in complete control! Not a big deal if he liked to eat. But he doesn't! Well, not enough. So with counsel from the doctor and feeding specialist we have decided to go back to the basics. Since Carsen has come home we have tried everything we could think of to get this guy to eat! Sadly none of our tricks or methods have really been very effective. Yes he has gained weight all along which has definitely been the goal. But, he still struggles with feedings and often hardly takes half of his bottle. So, since the new routine he has gained zero. Not good! I can't stand it when I see this happen. The doctor has said to keep up the routine and not to try my old tricks that used to get more ounces in him but took a very long time and almost took all my attention from everyone and everything else. In short, emotionally exhausting for me and never any time left over for the other kids. So here we go again. We hope this method works! Aside from all that... he and his lttle sister sure are cuties!!! Here's a little peek.

In case you haven't heard

We are expecting once more. At least we really hope only once more. Admittedly, this has been a tough discovery for Brandon and I. As you can imagine we really weren't prepared for another baby, especially so soon. We are not denying responsibility here we just can't believe this was in the cards for us. When we found out we were terrified and absolutely stunned. But since finding out we have felt more and more gratitude for the blessing that it is. We just hope that we can do our best and provide our little ones with all that they need and deserve. We will try our hardest. But ohhhhhhh boy! We have a lot of work to do! And speaking of boy, well that's what we're having too. He is due July 3rd which is my Grandpa Redfields' birthday who just passed away this past year. (Kind of special.) Anyway, we are wishing for a long (hard to say) pregnancy this time around. No more extra-early babies please! So that's our news we hope life gets extremely boring for us for awhile. We could really use it!!

Does Elmo do this to your child?

Cierra will sit and shreik at any stuffed animal. It cracks us up! From the other room it sounds like a horror show on T.V. It's hilarious. It's only after about ten minutes straight of it that we finally get our fill. I couldn't pass up showing a small bit of it. I'm sure this is a temptation to come stay with us and hear it for yourself. Any takers?

A New Year!

To our family and friends we hope you all had a wonderful Christmas holiday. We had a very nice holiday with family all throughout the month of December. With the Eskelson family Christmas party and a special surprise by Grandma and Grandpa Towne on Christmas Eve. Thank you to everyone who sent kind Christmas greetings, delivered yummy holiday goodies and of course the very thoughtful gifts for us and the kids. It was a most special holiday for us. Mostly because of the gifts that we have received from our Heavenly Father and his angels (on earth and from Heaven)this past year. Our little babies have been so greatly blessed. So much more than I ever could have imagined. Most of all we have been blessed with the gift of HOPE. Shortly after these babies were born we were given such little hope for Carsen and what his future would hold. That lack of hope is what was so torturous for us during that time. We will never forget that feeling of hopelessness. The only hope we had at that time was that one day Carsen would be wholly restored both body and mind. Gratefully, today we have so much more hope. For Carsen we rejoice. He will not have to wait for that glorious day to enjoy the wonderful gifts of his body and mind. He gets to enjoy those precious gifts now. We have been blessed with great HOPE for Carsen's future. As a mother I can't explain how that makes me feel for my little baby boy. It's the greatest kind of joy I could have. I have learned how important hope is in this journey of life. When it does not exist our trials can overwhelm and overrun us. I am so grateful for the HOPE that our family has been given as we have watched Carsen progress and achieve more by this young age than they once ever expected. We continue to recognize the power of miracles through faith and prayer. We are so grateful for the faith and prayers of so many. Those prayers of faith have helped us to have hope when it seemed so hard to maintain at times. We have never been in this alone and we feel eternally indebted to many for their support. I have learned so much in these past eight months but these lessons have not been easy. I thank you Father and I thank you friends for the HOPE you have given us when times have been so hard. I am trying to learn as the plaque my dear Mother-in-Law gave me that "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass..... It's about learning to dance in the rain".