Back and Forth

You might have guessed by this posting's title that things are never the same. What I mean by that is that Carsen (the one who likes to keep us on our toes) isn't sure if he wants to eat again. Lately, he has a good week of eating and then a bad one. Well, we are lingering in the 'bad one' longer than I'd really like. Carsen eats about half of his feedings when he gets in these ruts. So far he continues to gain weight which is obviously the goal but the weight gain isn't as much as his Doctor would like. He needs the raw calories more than anything else and that has been our focus. Trying baby veggies, and fruits is an idea but doesn't quite bring the calories we get from formula. So, unless Carsen decides to increase his appetite our options don't look that great. We would be looking at a feeding tube. Obviously I'm not thrilled by this idea as you could fill his lungs with formula if you don't have the tube placed just right. They would teach us how to do it but still not very comforting. I can tell you that this is probably the single most stressful thing I go through everyday. The greatest contributors to brain and lung growth in the first year of life is nutrition and oxygen! This is huge for these little babies. We are already seven months into that first year. That is probably why I have literally found white hairs on my head. It weighs on me every hour of the day. Thank goodness these babies don't understand the stress they cause. So, for now we get gray and keep on praying. I think I'm learning this is a motto for all parents. We hope Carsen decides that he likes food as much as his Mommy and Daddy do. O.k...... like his Mommy does.